Monday, May 20, 2013

EXCLUSIVE: LEAKED TEST FOOTAGE FOR STAR WARS: EPISODE VII

With the anticipated release of "Star Trek Into Darkness" over the weekend, and how stellar a motion picture it was, I became more excited than ever to see what J.J. Abrams would do with the even more popular space-set franchise, "Star Wars." Set for a 2015 release we're still a ways off from any plot details, production stills or other publicity material for "Episode VII" BUT last weekend an unknown source has posted what is reportedly "leaked test footage" for that very film!

While fans have speculated and/or feared how Abrams would tackle the beloved franchise we never could have seen this coming...

Disclaimer: What you are about to see cannot be unseen.


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And you thought what "Kinect Star Wars" did was a travesty to the intellectual property?!

Apparently after seeing an early screening of "The Great Gatsby" J.J. Abrams was inspired with what to do with the mammoth task ahead of him. "George Lucas' films changed cinema forever," Abrams told the Associated Press, "And now I want to change 'Star Wars' forever! 'Episode VII' is going to feature a mostly hip-hop and K-Pop soundtrack. While the [John] Williams score is a treasure among movie soundtracks I want it to belong the original two trilogies. We're working with PSY to produce an original track to play over the opening scroll and it's going to knock fans' socks off!" More like their heads off!

Many have speculated why Abrams would be going this route with the series. It is now a well-known fact that the foreign box office has surpassed domestic earnings on Hollywood blockbusters and thus it has become more important to please those overseas than those at home. K-Pop is the fuel that keeps the Asian heart pumping. American pop and hip-hop is also incredibly popular and influential around the globe (not to mention among the rising generation here in the United States). "You take two of the most popular things on Earth," explained screenwriter Michael Arndt, "'Star Wars' and rap, and you push them together to see what pops out!" Arndt is reportedly helping write the lyrics for some of the songs in addition to plot duty.



The film is not just going to have a completely modern soundtrack, it is going to feature multiple dance numbers as the test footage demonstrates. Filmmaker Julie Taymor and her team of choreographers are also rumored to be aboard for helping out in this department. Billy Dee Williams, who played Lando in "The Empire Strikes Back," recently spoke to journalists about reprising his role, "My character was always meant to get jiggy with it. Once Lucas even pulled me aside one day on set and helped me develop some backstory for Lando. There's going to be a lot of flashbacks in J.J.'s film and we will see how each of the characters learned their moves and, more importantly, how they learned to groove together." Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill are all rumored to be returning. Fisher has already spoken out about how personal trainers are helping her get back in shape. We can only assume dance lessons will be part of that process. Dear readers, I want you to just close your eyes and imagine Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill, as they are now, taking part in a galactic line dance...

And we thought a plethora of lens flares was something to worry about! Suddenly George Lucas and his addiction to post-post-production CGI infusions doesn't sound so bad! Folks, the future of "Stars Wars" is in far worse shape than we could have possibly known. What are your thoughts are these developments? Will you even bother seeing the film at all? Personally, I sense a great and terrible disturbance in the force.

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1 comment:

Josh Matern said...

No matter how much you lie to reduce demand, you won't get cheap tickets opening day :P