Monday, May 28, 2012


(Author's Note: I was working out of town last Monday and only had an aged laptop at my disposal. The thing is slower than frozen tar-covered molasses in January and even though I had most of an issue in the works there was no way I was going to get it looking ship 'n shape in time. Thus, here's a significant two-week's-worth issue tonight. As always, enjoy the show!)


This Week
  • Apartment 143*
  • A Cat in Paris* / 85%
  • For Greater Glory*
  • High School* / 83%
  • The Loved Ones* / 96%
  • Piranha 3DD* / 8%
  • Snow White and the Huntsman / 86%

Last Week
  • Arjun the Warrior Prince* / 40%
  • Battle Royale 3D* / 86%
  • Chernobyl Diaries / 26%
  • The Intouchables* / 81%
  • Men in Black III / 67%
  • Moonrise Kingdom* / 96%
  • OC87: The Obsessive Compulsive, Major Depression, Bipolar, Asperger's Movie * / 100%
  • Oslo, August 31st* / 97%

* = limited release


  • Coriolanus / 93%
  • Gone / 11%
  • Goon / 82%
  • Man on a Ledge / 31%
  • We Need to Talk About Kevin / 76%

% from Rotten Tomatoes

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Michael Haneke's "Armour" took home the top honors from this year's Festival de Cannes and it is not hard to see why: This quiet yet musical drama packs an emotional punch throughout just the trailer. Haneke's films take their time, building the necessary feelings that this seasoned filmmaker deems fit to put on display. In this case it is the love that is being tested between an elderly couple, both retired music teachers. This is one to definitely keep an eye out for.

"Fightville" takes the MMA fighting subject from last year's "Warrior" and takes it to a documentary where we get up close and personal with the men in the ring. Their fighting does not speak for itself. Locker room interviews, ringside reactions, training and more all add to the story about why these men choose to subject themselves to one of the world's biggest and most brutal sports. "Fightville" can be found in select cities.

"Polisse" won the Jury Prize at last year's Festival de Cannes. The naturalistic film takes us deep into the Child Protection Unit of the Parisian police where we see a fair amount of action in their line of duty and a fair amount of what they do when not on the job. There is no clear protagonist, rather the whole team emerges as who this film is about. Then again, it seems it all goes back to the children. This film looks intense, intimate, and downright incredible. "Polisse" is currently playing select theaters.

"Dark Horse," the newest film from Todd Solondz, revolves around a thirty-something (Jordan Gelber) who still lives and works with his parents. Solondz is known for very dark comedy and while this does carry a fair amount of harshness it seems far more pleasant than what we've come to expect. Christopher Walken rockin' a toupee is another plus. "Dark Horse" hits select theaters on June 8th.

Strap them boots on tighter, I reckon it's prime time for the Trailer Round-Up Awards!

Sick Cow:

I've yet to see a Tyler Perry film, but "Madea's Witness Protection" will certainly not be the one I start with, end with, or ever go with. It is short by trailer standard, but still painful to behold every single second. I don't see the appeal in the Madea character. Martin Lawrence playing Big Momma and Eddie Murphy in Norbit were definite cinematic lows, but this makes "Mrs. Doubtfire" look like a masterpiece... I for one will be doing anything else come June 29th.

The Head-Scratcher:

Here's the teaser for "Anchorman 2" delivering more of the same for fans who want just that. I'm not much a fan of the coarse comedy this troop delivers, but I know there are diehard fans to and fro. They'll have to wait until 2013 for this one.

Lasso of the Week:

"Skyfall" is the 23rd Bond film and it just received one of the more interesting trailers I've seen for an action movie. No doubt this has to be in part due to the film's director, Sam Mendes, who has only done dramas ("American Beauty" and "Road to Perdition") until now. Here's a fantastic example of a preview that gives nothing-to-little away plot-wise. We get quick glimpses of several titillating scenes (Bond's going to China folks!) with a pounding rhythm throughout. This is wonderfully shot by Roger Deakins who has been the Coen brothers got-to-cameraman for years. You can literally see why. November 9th is not a question; shaken, not stirred.

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A couple weeks back I showcased the poster for "Hungry, Hungry Hippos," an obvious mockery of "Battleship" which obviously deserves to be mocked. While none are quite as good as seeing a hippo emerge from the deep sea, here are several others. My favorite of which is "Operation" seen above. (Source: ScreenCrush)

I'm looking forward to the next stop-motion feature from the folks behind "Coraline." You'd expect something like this to come from Tim Burton, but like "Monster House" before it they are proving others can successfully tap into some macabre animation. This poster conveys the adventure we can expect.

Heels are hot! Catwoman steps on the bat proving that Bruce Wayne/Batman has more to deal with than just Bane in the summer's most anticipated film. Gotham looks to be a bleak place indeed. This poster is far more comic book-ish than Nolan's realistic films typically are.

Classic James Bond as we look down the barrel of a gun at a confident Bond walking a lonely road towards us... What else?

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With the weekend release (and success) of "Men in Black 3" Rotten Tomatoes serves "Total Recall: Will Smith's Best Movies" for the film's star. Believe it or not, "i, Robot" cracked the top ten!

Johnny Depp teamed up with Burton for the upteenth time with the recent release "Dark Shadows." Rotten Tomatoes has "Total Recall: Johnny Depp's Best Movies," nearly half of which are Burton films. What is your favorite Depp movie and/or performance?

Hitfix shares their "The 10 Most Anticipated Titles at the 2012 Cannes Film Festival."

Also, Hitfix shares "Top 10 Cannes Film Festival Losers."

Rotten Tomatoes gives us even more films to add to your watchlist with "Cannes 2012: 25 Films to Watch."

In honor (or ridicule) of "Battleship," reveals "8 Great Board Games That Need Their Own Movie." I know I would be first in line to see a Stratego film! What about you? Any boardgame adaptations you think would be fun?

Indiewire shares "Tim Burton's Five Best." "Dark Shadows" apparently has everybody thinking of better days.

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A few weeks ago the picture of Anthony Hopkins as Hitchcock lit up the interwebs. It was very exciting. Now we have an image of the beautiful Scarlett Johansson as Janet Leigh. (Source: /Film)

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Festival de Cannes wrapped yesterday. The great Michael Heneke took up the Palme d'Or (the top prize of the prestigious festival) for his film, "Amour" (trailer above). Chaz Ebert (wife of Roger) was in attendance and provides her commentary. (She also did a video report like last year.) You can also check out Rotten Tomatoes for a list of the top winners.

No, P.T. Anderson is not at Festival de Cannes this year, but apparently he is busy editing his upcoming film, "The Master." Easily one of my most anticipated films. The first teaser (but really it is more of a clip and so I am not covering it in The Trailer Roundup) was released today and it looks marvelous. This is said to be inspired by Scientology and its founder; the great Phillip Seymore Hoffman will be playing the stand-in L. Ron Hubbard role. We do not see Hoffman in this clip, but instead are treated to Jaoquin Phoenix (another great in my book) who is very much "out of it." I am fascinated and marvel at the image. P.T. Anderson folks. (Source: The Hollywood Reporter)

It's official, Aaron Sorkin is going to pen the screenplay for the Steve Jobs biopic! This is exciting news because Sorkin took home a much-deserved Oscar back in 2011 for this adaption for "The Social Network," easily one of the year's best films. Only weird part is, I thought this film was already well underway. Just last issue I shared the pic of Ashton Kutcher dressed as Jobs. (Source: The Film Stage)

Here are the winners of the 2012 Student Academy Awards. (Source: We Are Movie Geeks)

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So, those parody posters above... Turns out one is not a joke... "Candyland." It's a crappy board game that is likely to be turned into a crappy movie, though I suppose both are/were meant for kids. Crap. Worst part? Adam Sandler is involved... (Source: Reuters)

"G.I. Joe: Retaliation" has been pushed back to March 29, 2013! What's holding the project up? A post-conversion to 3D. I would have expected something like this back in 2009, but in the last year or two I thought it was clear that 2D screenings were consistently over-performing their 3D counterparts. Oh well. (Source: Deadline)

Whilst at Cannes Jackie Chan announced his retirement from action films. The guy is 58 and a career of some of the craziest stunts this side of Buster Keaton has absolutely taken a toll on him. Chan further said the world is "too violent." I agree, let's leave action to the movies where it belongs. (Source: The Telegraph)

During an oversea premier for "Men in Black 3" a male reporter attempted to kiss star Will Smith on the lips. Smith is far from smitten and instead smites the guy with his backhand. Don't believe it? Watch it! (Source: TMZ)

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"The Avengers" has finally been overtaken in the box office, but it took the Men in Black to do so. As always, Scott Mendleson provides an excellent analysis of the B.O. weekend. Wes Anderson's "Moonrise Kingdom," currently in limited release, set a record of its own.

Here's a first look at "Taken 2" with Liam Neeson and Maggie Grace fulfilling the father-daughter roles from the first movie. This time around she is the one who has to save her dad (oh dear...) after people he pissed off in the first movie seek revenge. I am not a fan of the first film and cannot see how this one is going to be any better. (Source: Entertainment Weekly)

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Here's a radiculous supercut... "Sounds of Aronofsky." Tis pretty self-explanatory: the nouns emitting sounds in the films of Darren Aronofsky.

Scott Meslow of The Atlantic writes "A Brief History of Time Travel (in Movies)." This is yet another tie-in with "Men in Black 3," which takes us from 2012 to 1969. Look for my review in the near future unless I can go back in time and post it in which case it should already be here.

Check out Slate's interview, "Life in Stop-Motion," with auteur filmmaking Wes Anderson as they chat about his work on commercials, the possibilities of another stop-motion feature, and the meaning of the phrase "break the bank." Strangely there is no coverage over "Moonrise Kingdom" which premiered at the ongoing Festival de Cannes.

More stills from Tarantino's "Django Unchained." Apparently a segment was screened at Cannes and dropped some jaws. Here's hoping for a trailer soon-ish. (Source: /Film)

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I've got four words for you: "GET OUT OF THERE!" What a supercut...

Warialasky has made a trailer for "TETRIS," which somehow looks significantly better than "Battleship." As the posters above and now this clearly demonstrate, we've received one very influential blockbuster.

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Directed by Jeremy Warner

The year is 2009 in this alternate universe where monsters wiped out a significant portion of the human race (including Mel Gibson!). "Gerald" takes place after the monster epidemic... or does it? It's an enjoyable short film with fun cameos, funky music, and a freshly unorthodox take on the "monster film" genre. See it!

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It has been two years since the "LOST" finale... Should you care to gander, IGN ranked all 113 episodes back then.

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